Diagnosed with lung cancer at the age of 71, Du Yingfen died of the disease last year not knowing her diagnosis, as her family kept the news from her for two years. Keeping Cancer a Secret From Family - Honor, Trust and Betrayal Jimi the Hobo. Kelly Preston's death from breast cancer at 57 shocked many, as her husband, John Travolta, said she kept her diagnosis private for two years. They were like, ‘Yes, finally!’”. One of those is Dena, 57. Keeping Cancer a Secret From Family - Honor, Trust and Betrayal Jimi the Hobo. These cancer researchers have family members and close friends who have or have died from cancer. “When I finally outed my cancer diagnosis in 2011, the reactions ranged widely,” says Young, who recently published a book about her experience. Hiding her breast cancer sends the wrong message, that you need your disease secret. It’s really important when you have cancer to decrease any stress. Kelly Preston died at age 57 from breast cancer on Sunday after a private two-year battle. Cancer is also an extremely difficult secret to keep for obvious reasons. Hudson admits her “awesome” support system often outweighs her desire for privacy. “Hiding is not the agenda. “Yes, I hear all of these,” said Dr. Jesse Fann, director of psychiatry and psychology services at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance, the treatment arm of Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center. 22. But for this article, she asked that her last name not be published because she worried that coming out with her illnesses could pose an issue for job hunting. It might be worthwhile to initiate some conversations with them now so they’re not so surprised that this is occurring,’” Scott said. Given their emotional makeup, they likely wouldn’t whisper aloud their cholesterol count much less their diagnosis. After she died from a complication of the illness in 2012, some of her most intimate friends revealed they were in the dark about it, including actress Meryl Streep, who said:  “She really did catch us napping.” Musician David Bowie, who died in January of liver cancer, opted to keep the disease hidden — at least from the public — because he preferred to let his final album ‘speak for itself,’ according to Rolling Stone magazine. “They’re worried it might be a burden to others or they won’t be able to handle it,” says Schnur. “I often ask, ‘Wouldn’t you want to know if someone you knew got a similar diagnosis?’ I acknowledge that it’s a difficult thing to talk about and often help them brainstorm and role play ways of bringing up the topic with others.”. 6.2 million UK parents delayed telling their child when a close family member or friend is diagnosed with cancer - 56% of parents said they waited to tell or didn’t tell their child about a cancer diagnosis in their close family or friends when their child was under 18 years old. Keeping secrets became the norm of family functioning. Kelly Preston's death from breast cancer at 57 shocked many, as her husband, John Travolta, said she kept her diagnosis private for two years. It seems inarguably necessary to share news about a cancer diagnosis with one’s family and friends. Children learn about the world from the adults in their lives. “When I went through treatment, I didn’t lose my hair but I got down to like 90 pounds. Some patients "are in denial, don't want to … She never wants to see even a flash of sorrow in the eyes of a friend. Because in that format, there’s no need to sugarcoat, no reason to put on a brave face. “Most were supportive, but there were a few [clients] who drifted away.”. Family members, extremely ashamed of mental illness running in the family, developed a culture of non communication and secrecy to protect themselves from the truth and to prevent any embarrassing information from becoming available to outsiders. Mandi Hudson, a 33-year-old marketing maven from Salt Lake City, uses Twitter, Facebook and other social media tools to keep her loved ones up to speed on her breast cancer. But cancer is part of who I am. The young … Family members, extremely ashamed of mental illness running in the family, developed a culture of non communication and secrecy to protect themselves from the truth and to prevent any embarrassing information from becoming available to outsiders. “And they were really happy when I was usurped. “I was going to high school and it was a small town,” she says. It's a good question, especially when so many people are, as Young puts it, “turning their cancer into a reality show or story with videos and blogs.”. Some people never share their diagnosis. If you've recently been diagnosed with cancer, you may be tempted to keep this information private. We all have secrets — but research has repeatedly told us that keeping secrets is bad for your health, so then we end up keeping secrets about keeping secrets. On her blog, she confessed: “I don’t want anyone to know but I want everyone to know.”, “It is,” she said in an interview, “a weird paradox that’s inside of me.”. Keeping secrets within a family can create a false sense of reality, especially among children. This brings a nuanced level of secrecy. We are committed to cultivating a workplace in which diverse perspectives and experiences are welcomed and respected. But, cancer patients soon learn who their trusted friends are.” Another person said, “I don’t think a cancer patient should keep it to himself. “Sometimes, work is a respite, a place you can go and just be yourself and do your job,” she says. A 2008 study that interviewed 164 breast cancer survivors found many were thrust into the role of caretaker for emotionally overwhelmed friends and family. 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